Carried by Love

The below paragraph "You're carried by Love" was copied directly from a blog entry by a breast cancer patient who battled with the disease for 5 years before she passed away recently. I acknowledged that this is not copyright, but i just couldn't resist to read this over and over again, so i decided to just copy and put it down here.

I do not know this lady personally, yet i feel somehow connected to her and inspired by reading her blog. I find it quite unbelievable too because i seldom let much emotions came over me when i read others' blog. I don't usually have strong spiritual approach to life, i am not a christian nor catholic in nature, let alone that this lady had mentioned God in most, if not all of her entries in her blog, i am influenced by her! Is my hormones wrecking havoc on me again?

This was what she shared:

You're Carried by Love
I rest my head on the pillow without much rest in my heart.
To-do's swirl around in my mind.
Tasks fall heavy on my shoulders. I silently pray, "Lord, give the grace for me to carry all of this."
It seems I hear a whisper in response, "Ask instead for the grace to let Me carry you."
I once saw a child carrying a rock too big, determined to take it home. Sweat beading, little feet laboring. Then Daddy came and swooped up His girl. Joy. Giggles. Grace.
She still held the rock but it no longer weighed her down because someone held her.
I fall asleep with a smile...thoughts as light as love.

As i read this, my vision started to blur, i am somehow reminded again to love my love ones unconditionally, especially my closest kins, my hubby and my 2 girls. May she rest in peace and God bless her family (husband and 3 young girls) particularly during this difficult period.
I am touched indefinitely.

H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S.

Happiness as stated in Wikipedia is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. People say happiness is a choice. It is my belief too, but why am i finding so hard to feel happiness the way i once felt which was effortless and came naturally? Does it mean that i consciously choose to be depressed and upset? I wake up every day reminding myself that it is a fresh new day, to have the hope to achieve something meaningful, if not at least some ease and peace within myself. However, almost every act takes an extra effort, it takes more to smile and it takes even more to laugh. The extra effort seems to yield lesser returns. Though i still smile as usual, the smiles seem a bit unnatural and the hopes seem slim. Why do the past unhappy events keep re-appearing in front of me and flashing in my mind? Why does it take so much to remember happy moments and dismiss the unhappy ones?

I am aware that i am not the only one having setbacks and there are more people having greater problems out there. While everyday we are lamenting about how stressful or boring our jobs bring us, there are people who yearn to be employed but yet unable to due to health problems or other issues. While we fret about how naughty and defiant our children are, there are parents out there who do not have a chance to even hear their child screams or see them demand for the most expensive and useless toy on earth. Whenever i think of all these, i started to feel that i am actually a blessed human, should not have much to gripe about. My case doesn't even touch the tip of the iceberg. I can go on and on, talking about depressing stuffs and make myself even more depressed. I think i am not a strong person and truly, i am not. I had better stop going on to where i am now, before i really slip into the disheartened mode. Oh, my, the first entry in just the beginning of the year 2012 is such, will i really remain in this state for the rest of the year? However, i wish not because there are actually things and people that motivate me and by looking at them frequently, i hope to bring joy and laughter in me again.

This entry seems a bit incoherent, i know.