Last week, as mum-in-law went for a one week holiday, i had to take leave to look after the little munchkin. It was then that i realised how being a SAHM (aka stay-at-home-mum)was like. Strangely, it wasn't the first time i took long leave to look after my baby, but i totally felt different this time round. There are many misconceptions about stay home mummies. First and foremost, i do not have the luxury of time. The day goes like this:
8.00am-9.00am: The little terror wakes up crying (9 out of 10 times). Console and cuddle her for about 15 mins to settle her.
9.30am: I brushed my teeth and wash up before making her cereal to eat. Went after her in order to feed her while she uses her boundless energy to play.
10.00am: Bring her out for morning walk downstairs, sometimes to the playground (if weather permits).
10.45am: Shower her and dress her (dressing her takes a toil too). Prepare ingredients for maid to cook lunch.
11.00am: Engage in playing toys or ball or sings to her.
11.30-12.00pm: Make her milk and feed her. Continue with play.
1.00pm: She takes her nap which i rejoice much. Yippee! I sort out bills that need to be paid, and whatever that needs to be done. Cut the little girl's nails(bcos she doesn't let me do it when she's awake), take my lunch, shit, rest by indulging in some TV watching or surfing the net and taking a catnap if the little one still hasn't wake up.
2.30pm-3.00pm: (depending on the duration of her sleep) Wakes up crying (again 9 out of 10 times). Make her milk and feed her.
3.30pm: Playtime again. Bring out her box of toys for her to explore and play. She roams round the house with me stalking her. I also start preparing her dinner.
4.30pm: Bring her out for nature walk in the park near our house, and to the playground. She runs, climbs, goes down the slides, looks at the water in the drain (i don't know why she likes it so much) and whatever she wants to do, all with me chasing after her!
5.30pm: Bring her home and clean her up lightly.
6.00pm: Feed her dinner (with cajoling).
6.30pm: Shower and change her.
7.00pm: The family goes out for dinner and do a bit of shopping.
9.30pm: Come home, make her milk and feed her. Sometimes the little girl falls asleep after finishing her milk, otherwise she roams the house with or without toys till she feels sleepy.
10.30pm: Tuck her into bed and change her diapers. She usually falls asleep by 11.00pm to 11.30pm (depending on how active she is).
11.00pm: I do whatever chores that needs to be done such as washing milk bottles, measuring out milk formula into container and packing up the toys left behind by the little girl. Wash up to prepare to go to bed.
11.30pm: Collapse into my beloved bed. Lights out.
2.00am-4.00am: Awake by her sudden cries (not all times). Get up to settle her cries , otherwise the following continue.
6.00am: Make her milk and feed her while she is sleeping.
6.30am: I go back to bed and the whole cycle repeats.
I used to think that a SAHM can do anything they like becos they have all the time at home to do what they want to do but i was so wrong. And to think that i have already minus off the housework and cooking becos i have a helper, if not i think i would end up dead.
Till now, i am sure that i am not ready for this 24/7 kind of committment yet. I am always trying to be a good mummy but how to define a really good mummy, i seriously don't know. So being a working mum is still a better choice for me. SAHM maybe when i am rich enough to be a tai-tai or morphed into an "obasan."
However her cheery smile takes away my fatigue at the end of the day :)
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Careless Mommy
Haven't been writing for a while, i blamed it on my chronic sleep deprivation which partially cloud my brain for remembering some stuffs. Ahem, this seems to be always the best excuse for my forgetfulness and lack of motivation to do something. Bleah.
Well, the fact is that of late, i haven't been to any interesting places nor do any exciting things with my little munchkin that warrant my attention. All we did was to entertain each other with inanimated toys and sometimes engaged in pretend play. What humdrum lifestyle we have, u must be thinking.
At 17 months old, this toddler of mine is getting highly active. So active that I can hardly manage her. Sometimes i even worry that she will suffer from "Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder" (ADHD). (O well, maybe too much toxins have gotten to my head already). By not paying enough attention on her, some accidents could have occur. This was what happened.
The day began unevenfully and almost ended uneventfully too till we came back from dinner. It was a Saturday. While waiting for the lift to our home, the little girl as usual was in her exploration mode, seeing and touching lift buttons and whatever nonsense she could find around her. The lift came and we went in. The little imp was running in circles in the lift while i tried to dish out my house keys. All of a sudden she dashed out to reach for the alarm bell button, and in a split second i saw her fingers caught in the lift door frame as the door slid opened at that time. I freaked out. My first instinct was to pull her hand out, but by doing that could hurt her more, so i stopped and stood aghast at the sight of her screams and cries. Daddy quickly pried open the thick door with all his strength to make way for her fingers. The sliding door disclosed a tiny clear space, which is enough for me to quickly pull her fingers out. I hugged her and pat her fingers in the midst of her hysterical cry which i supposed the whole block of residents could have heard her.
Back into our home, the little girl still could not stop crying despite all we have done to console her. I hastily made her milk and fed her. Only then did she settled down and soon fell aslept. While she was sleeping, i examined her fingers and found that her index and middle finger were red swollen with a very slight "dent". I was then very worried whether the incident could have fractured her fingers and i really hate myself for my lack of vigilant attention and supervision towards her. On hindsight, I remembered that this is not the first accident that happened to her. She was at the playground running near the monkey bars when an older boy jumped off from the playgound equipment and hence hit her right on the face (or head? it happened too fast for me to see.) Again, i was careless an dcould have prevented it if i was near her. On another occasion, on the day i was feeling very depressed over the loss of my unborn baby, the little girl was playing with daddy's tubes which were made of glass coated with mercuric oxide internally. I was too distracted to supervise her and hence she picked up two tubes and hit against one another. In a short time, i heard a breaking sound and saw the girl holding the tubes in both her hands. Of of a sudden, i was slapped back to reality, i quickly removed the broken tubes from her hands in the nick of time to prevent any cuts from chemical poisoning!
Above all of these incidents, I had reminded myself time and again never ever to leave this child of mine unattended at any time. Most accidents can be prevented with proper precautions. As a parent, i know that i need to provide a safe environment for my child even at my own home. The lift door accident definitely serves as a wake-up call for me. All because i am not alert enough and usually slow in response, i certainly hope that there will not be any more accidents that may cause hurt or injuries to the little girl, for it may be too high a price for me to pay!
Well, the fact is that of late, i haven't been to any interesting places nor do any exciting things with my little munchkin that warrant my attention. All we did was to entertain each other with inanimated toys and sometimes engaged in pretend play. What humdrum lifestyle we have, u must be thinking.
At 17 months old, this toddler of mine is getting highly active. So active that I can hardly manage her. Sometimes i even worry that she will suffer from "Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder" (ADHD). (O well, maybe too much toxins have gotten to my head already). By not paying enough attention on her, some accidents could have occur. This was what happened.
The day began unevenfully and almost ended uneventfully too till we came back from dinner. It was a Saturday. While waiting for the lift to our home, the little girl as usual was in her exploration mode, seeing and touching lift buttons and whatever nonsense she could find around her. The lift came and we went in. The little imp was running in circles in the lift while i tried to dish out my house keys. All of a sudden she dashed out to reach for the alarm bell button, and in a split second i saw her fingers caught in the lift door frame as the door slid opened at that time. I freaked out. My first instinct was to pull her hand out, but by doing that could hurt her more, so i stopped and stood aghast at the sight of her screams and cries. Daddy quickly pried open the thick door with all his strength to make way for her fingers. The sliding door disclosed a tiny clear space, which is enough for me to quickly pull her fingers out. I hugged her and pat her fingers in the midst of her hysterical cry which i supposed the whole block of residents could have heard her.
Back into our home, the little girl still could not stop crying despite all we have done to console her. I hastily made her milk and fed her. Only then did she settled down and soon fell aslept. While she was sleeping, i examined her fingers and found that her index and middle finger were red swollen with a very slight "dent". I was then very worried whether the incident could have fractured her fingers and i really hate myself for my lack of vigilant attention and supervision towards her. On hindsight, I remembered that this is not the first accident that happened to her. She was at the playground running near the monkey bars when an older boy jumped off from the playgound equipment and hence hit her right on the face (or head? it happened too fast for me to see.) Again, i was careless an dcould have prevented it if i was near her. On another occasion, on the day i was feeling very depressed over the loss of my unborn baby, the little girl was playing with daddy's tubes which were made of glass coated with mercuric oxide internally. I was too distracted to supervise her and hence she picked up two tubes and hit against one another. In a short time, i heard a breaking sound and saw the girl holding the tubes in both her hands. Of of a sudden, i was slapped back to reality, i quickly removed the broken tubes from her hands in the nick of time to prevent any cuts from chemical poisoning!
Above all of these incidents, I had reminded myself time and again never ever to leave this child of mine unattended at any time. Most accidents can be prevented with proper precautions. As a parent, i know that i need to provide a safe environment for my child even at my own home. The lift door accident definitely serves as a wake-up call for me. All because i am not alert enough and usually slow in response, i certainly hope that there will not be any more accidents that may cause hurt or injuries to the little girl, for it may be too high a price for me to pay!
Monday, September 7, 2009
Innocence is Bliss
Some interesting happenings during the past weeks which really amused me:
One day whilst Bernice and i were waiting for a cab to go to grandma's house, i noticed the little girl actually raised one arm as if she was trying to flag down every single cab that passed by (maybe she is able to differentiate between a car and a cab just short of not knowing the differences of what the green and red sign on top of the cab means.) Well, we have been travelling in a cab each time we went out, maybe that explains why as she observes and imitates my actions each time round. Can u picture that? So after we entered the cab and the cab cruised for about 5 minutes when suddenly the liitle girl whispered "neh neh." Huh? My fear came, before i can react to anything, she said it in a much louder tone, "NEH NEH!!" with an accusing finger pointing at the cab driver who is none other than an old indian man. The cab driver must have found it amusing as he turned around and gave a wide smile.
(=_=")
On many other occasions, the little girl seems to be able to recognize our different races. Whenever we walked past an indian man, woman or even a child, she will inevitably utter "neh neh" either audible enough just for my ears or exclaim loud enough for people within earshot.
There was once when we were in a lift. The inside of the lift door is in the form of a mirror. All were silent. She restlessly looked around her and quickly captured the reflection of an indian man standing beside me. As expected, she pointed at the man and shouted, "NEH NEH!"
Immediately, you will noticed some people hiding their smiles in the reflection. Well, at least the word "neh neh" is not something offensive, rather it is a meaning of "brother", so not yet a situation whereby i need to dig a hole in the ground and hide there.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One day i decided to train Bernice to throw unwanted stuff into the dustbin. So after a few pieces of waste paper was delightfully torn by her, i said: " Now throw all the papers into the dustbin." She turned around to look at me once, her eyes lighted up and in a second, she scooted off with one waste paper to throw into the dustbin. Then she clapped her hands telling me in a way that she has done a good job. I was immediately beaming inside me and proud of myself that i had achieved my purpose effortlessly. Soon, after all the pieces of papers on the floor were religiously thrown by her, she came back to the same spot and realised that there was no more for her. Then she waved her hand and said, "no more..." I said to her as i bend to tidy up some toys on the floor, "Ok, before we go to bed, we need to....." Before i could finish my sentence, she picked up one of her toys on the floor and proceed to throw into the dustbin! To and fro, she repeated this despite me stopping her and seeing me taking back every single toy that she threw. Poooof, I decided to put an end to my exhaustion by putting an end to this. I held her up and proceeded to the bedroom. It is bedtime!
Such acts would have gone undetected or mean nothing for some people, but they greatly perked up a dull day of mine:)
One day whilst Bernice and i were waiting for a cab to go to grandma's house, i noticed the little girl actually raised one arm as if she was trying to flag down every single cab that passed by (maybe she is able to differentiate between a car and a cab just short of not knowing the differences of what the green and red sign on top of the cab means.) Well, we have been travelling in a cab each time we went out, maybe that explains why as she observes and imitates my actions each time round. Can u picture that? So after we entered the cab and the cab cruised for about 5 minutes when suddenly the liitle girl whispered "neh neh." Huh? My fear came, before i can react to anything, she said it in a much louder tone, "NEH NEH!!" with an accusing finger pointing at the cab driver who is none other than an old indian man. The cab driver must have found it amusing as he turned around and gave a wide smile.
(=_=")
On many other occasions, the little girl seems to be able to recognize our different races. Whenever we walked past an indian man, woman or even a child, she will inevitably utter "neh neh" either audible enough just for my ears or exclaim loud enough for people within earshot.
There was once when we were in a lift. The inside of the lift door is in the form of a mirror. All were silent. She restlessly looked around her and quickly captured the reflection of an indian man standing beside me. As expected, she pointed at the man and shouted, "NEH NEH!"
Immediately, you will noticed some people hiding their smiles in the reflection. Well, at least the word "neh neh" is not something offensive, rather it is a meaning of "brother", so not yet a situation whereby i need to dig a hole in the ground and hide there.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One day i decided to train Bernice to throw unwanted stuff into the dustbin. So after a few pieces of waste paper was delightfully torn by her, i said: " Now throw all the papers into the dustbin." She turned around to look at me once, her eyes lighted up and in a second, she scooted off with one waste paper to throw into the dustbin. Then she clapped her hands telling me in a way that she has done a good job. I was immediately beaming inside me and proud of myself that i had achieved my purpose effortlessly. Soon, after all the pieces of papers on the floor were religiously thrown by her, she came back to the same spot and realised that there was no more for her. Then she waved her hand and said, "no more..." I said to her as i bend to tidy up some toys on the floor, "Ok, before we go to bed, we need to....." Before i could finish my sentence, she picked up one of her toys on the floor and proceed to throw into the dustbin! To and fro, she repeated this despite me stopping her and seeing me taking back every single toy that she threw. Poooof, I decided to put an end to my exhaustion by putting an end to this. I held her up and proceeded to the bedroom. It is bedtime!
Such acts would have gone undetected or mean nothing for some people, but they greatly perked up a dull day of mine:)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I Love My Baby!
Sometimes i wonder to myself how such a lovely baby came from me, though many times her defiance and hyper-activeness drive me nutz. I might be one of those uninteresting or un-funniest, passive and stepford person on earth, but she seems to be the complete opposite of me. Well maybe she takes some of the daddy's genes, but definitely with her own persona.
She is adorable and i love her so when i first held her in my arms on 2 may 2008.
She is adorable and i love her so when she took her short tentative steps and slumped onto my arms.
She is adorable and i love her so when she hugs my thighs with her tiny hands when i came back from work.
She is adorable and i love her so when she sings along with me (though i don't understand a word that she sings).
She is adorable and i love her so when she smiles and waves her hand saying"den"(no) when i sing to her.
She is adorable and i love her so when daddy came into the room and she proceeds to run away with a cheeky grin.
She is adorable and i love her so when a hair piece was put on her head and she eagerly asked to be seen in the mirror by saying"nice, nice."
She is adorable and i love her so when she imitates daddy's jogging with a panting sound.
She is adorable and i love her so when she swings her body left and right and sings "lalalaa" when she hears the music.
She is adorable and i love her so when we hold her in our arms and she tries to pinch/hit us on the face with a mischievous smile.
She is adorable and i love her so when she tries to feed herself with a spoon but drops 90% of the food on the floor.
She is adorable and i love her so when she pulls my pants and walks behind me.
She is adorable and i love her so when strangers smiled and waved to her when she walked past them.
Bernice, my baby. And now, she is growing up each day. How I love her so.:)
She is adorable and i love her so when i first held her in my arms on 2 may 2008.
She is adorable and i love her so when she took her short tentative steps and slumped onto my arms.
She is adorable and i love her so when she hugs my thighs with her tiny hands when i came back from work.
She is adorable and i love her so when she sings along with me (though i don't understand a word that she sings).
She is adorable and i love her so when she smiles and waves her hand saying"den"(no) when i sing to her.
She is adorable and i love her so when daddy came into the room and she proceeds to run away with a cheeky grin.
She is adorable and i love her so when a hair piece was put on her head and she eagerly asked to be seen in the mirror by saying"nice, nice."
She is adorable and i love her so when she imitates daddy's jogging with a panting sound.
She is adorable and i love her so when she swings her body left and right and sings "lalalaa" when she hears the music.
She is adorable and i love her so when we hold her in our arms and she tries to pinch/hit us on the face with a mischievous smile.
She is adorable and i love her so when she tries to feed herself with a spoon but drops 90% of the food on the floor.
She is adorable and i love her so when she pulls my pants and walks behind me.
She is adorable and i love her so when strangers smiled and waved to her when she walked past them.
Bernice, my baby. And now, she is growing up each day. How I love her so.:)
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Thursday, August 13, 2009
Her Indiscernible Cries
My latest wish list:
1) I want to have undisturbed sleep every night.
2) I want to have undisturbed sleep every night.
3) I want to have undisturbed sleep every night.
REcently, why does Bernice suddenly cry long and loud for no discernible reason when she is sleeping? And late at night when everyone is already asleep. It is not that she wants milk, not that her diapers are wet, not that either she is feeling too hot or cold. And basically there is nothing that i do including cuddling her, offering her the favourite pacifier can stop her from howling inconsolably.
Maybe it is the luck of draw that i have a baby who fusses and frets easily or could it be that there is really something that she needs? I only hope that she will outgrow of this soon so that i can restore my restful nights again.
1) I want to have undisturbed sleep every night.
2) I want to have undisturbed sleep every night.
3) I want to have undisturbed sleep every night.
REcently, why does Bernice suddenly cry long and loud for no discernible reason when she is sleeping? And late at night when everyone is already asleep. It is not that she wants milk, not that her diapers are wet, not that either she is feeling too hot or cold. And basically there is nothing that i do including cuddling her, offering her the favourite pacifier can stop her from howling inconsolably.
Maybe it is the luck of draw that i have a baby who fusses and frets easily or could it be that there is really something that she needs? I only hope that she will outgrow of this soon so that i can restore my restful nights again.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
In a Dilemma...
Just 2 months back, I was dying to have a second child after my second miscarriage. But today, I am so unsure. It seems to be such a straightforward thing, but yet extremely hard on many levels to reach a decision. To have? Or not to have?
Things to have baby no. 2:
1) Little Bernice will have a companion as she grows up (since she can't be left alone) so she can learn to love and care and to share things with. Will she?
2) I love babies, is so fun to watch them.
Things against baby no. 2:
1) I am so afraid to be pregnant. Not because of the unbearable symptoms that most preggers are concerned about, but the symptoms and conditions that I am not not able to control. I already had 2 failed pregnancies which were totally beyond me. I am phobia.
2) I am already 33 and should have the factory shut by now. My eggs will be deteriorating as compared in my twenties, so chances of success are not looking good, i think.
3) I am scared to have Bernice no.2! She is enough for me to handle, let alone 2 of the same kind. On the other hand, I am afraid the new baby will be a total contrast of Bernice in terms of her intelligence. Will I be lucky all the time?
4) I want some personal space for myself. Bernice is already taking up most of my free time, I cannot imagine a second one to add on, even if he/she is an easy one. But yet when i don't spend time with her, guilt swept over me. I wonder what's wrong.
5) I am finally regaining some forms of sanity/routines in my life since the birth of the little one. Have no wish to upset it again. Wonder if it is selfish of me.
6) The maid's contract is going to end in 10 months' time. MIL might not be able to cope looking after another baby alone.
7) I treasure the time spent and the special bond with Bernice that I never want to give up anything for it. I am afraid another baby will take away the special feeling I have for Bernice and vice versa.
7 unfavourable conditions against 2 favourable. The decision should be clear, but yet I am still in such a dilemma. What has got over me?
Things to have baby no. 2:
1) Little Bernice will have a companion as she grows up (since she can't be left alone) so she can learn to love and care and to share things with. Will she?
2) I love babies, is so fun to watch them.
Things against baby no. 2:
1) I am so afraid to be pregnant. Not because of the unbearable symptoms that most preggers are concerned about, but the symptoms and conditions that I am not not able to control. I already had 2 failed pregnancies which were totally beyond me. I am phobia.
2) I am already 33 and should have the factory shut by now. My eggs will be deteriorating as compared in my twenties, so chances of success are not looking good, i think.
3) I am scared to have Bernice no.2! She is enough for me to handle, let alone 2 of the same kind. On the other hand, I am afraid the new baby will be a total contrast of Bernice in terms of her intelligence. Will I be lucky all the time?
4) I want some personal space for myself. Bernice is already taking up most of my free time, I cannot imagine a second one to add on, even if he/she is an easy one. But yet when i don't spend time with her, guilt swept over me. I wonder what's wrong.
5) I am finally regaining some forms of sanity/routines in my life since the birth of the little one. Have no wish to upset it again. Wonder if it is selfish of me.
6) The maid's contract is going to end in 10 months' time. MIL might not be able to cope looking after another baby alone.
7) I treasure the time spent and the special bond with Bernice that I never want to give up anything for it. I am afraid another baby will take away the special feeling I have for Bernice and vice versa.
7 unfavourable conditions against 2 favourable. The decision should be clear, but yet I am still in such a dilemma. What has got over me?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
"Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining"
It seems that the flu bug or whatever bug has a liking for Bernice. Almost every month since she turned 6 months old, she has been down with the flu bug, once even with the Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease!
Last Tuesday, the little girl was hit again with an on-off spike fever for the next 5 days. Despite giving her nurofen and paracetamol, her temperature spiked to a peak of 39.5 degrees C during two of the nights. So in the morning we rushed her to the nearby paediatrician whereby we were told that she could be having a viral infection in the throat (her throat was very red) or it might be a dengue fever. In order to diagnose, she needs to have her blood tested, which means finding her tiny veins to poke through the needle! Hence, an arrangement was made and we brought her to the polyclinic at tampines on saturday. During the process, though I was not beside her (i was told to wait outside) I felt like crying to hear her pleading cries and screams, imagining her struggling, as I waited helplessly outside the door. After the test was done, we rushed back with the report to the paediatrician and she concluded that Bernice has a viral infection and that we just have to let it run its course. The lab result for the dengue fever will be out in a few days' time and we will be informed accordingly. Meanwhile we heaved a sign of relief knowing that it wasn't anything serious.
However during that night we noticed that she started to have some red spots around her forhead and face. The next day, more red spots appeared and soon her whole body, arms and legs were covered by them. We panicked and had her sent back to the paediatrician on monday morning. The paediatrician again concluded that the red spots look more like heat rash and that sometimes will appear after a fever. With antibiotic, she was sent home, but we were told to monitor the fever though it was low-grade, and that if it hasn't settle by thursday, she has to be admitted to the hospital.
Thank God that the fever has settled on the very same day and the little girl seemed more cheerful. The lab result for dengue has also shown negative. She is soon slowly gaining back her appetite and be her active self. Throughout this ordeal of her illness, I felt so inadequate each time I forced milk and medicine down her throat, to settle her cries during her sleep and seeing her looking all lifeless and sad.
Other that that, I just feel tired and drained looking after her, waking up at odd hours at night to manage her cries as well as to feed her medicine and check on her temperature. It is a new sense of vulnerability, feeling so helpless to see her in such discomfort and not getting better, something which I've not experienced before I became a mother. Luckily for me, I have a wonderful mother-in-law who is willing to help me take some of these burden.
All I wish for the little girl is for her to be well and happy and I am just trying my best to provide her with the space to grow, activities to learn and helping her grow up to be a well-adjusted, well-rounded happy kid.
Recently I've read something which pretty much described my feelings these days. Below is what I have summed up.
Be contented for happy moments,
Be brave during difficult moments,
Worship God at quiet moments,
Be thankful for every moment.
Last Tuesday, the little girl was hit again with an on-off spike fever for the next 5 days. Despite giving her nurofen and paracetamol, her temperature spiked to a peak of 39.5 degrees C during two of the nights. So in the morning we rushed her to the nearby paediatrician whereby we were told that she could be having a viral infection in the throat (her throat was very red) or it might be a dengue fever. In order to diagnose, she needs to have her blood tested, which means finding her tiny veins to poke through the needle! Hence, an arrangement was made and we brought her to the polyclinic at tampines on saturday. During the process, though I was not beside her (i was told to wait outside) I felt like crying to hear her pleading cries and screams, imagining her struggling, as I waited helplessly outside the door. After the test was done, we rushed back with the report to the paediatrician and she concluded that Bernice has a viral infection and that we just have to let it run its course. The lab result for the dengue fever will be out in a few days' time and we will be informed accordingly. Meanwhile we heaved a sign of relief knowing that it wasn't anything serious.
However during that night we noticed that she started to have some red spots around her forhead and face. The next day, more red spots appeared and soon her whole body, arms and legs were covered by them. We panicked and had her sent back to the paediatrician on monday morning. The paediatrician again concluded that the red spots look more like heat rash and that sometimes will appear after a fever. With antibiotic, she was sent home, but we were told to monitor the fever though it was low-grade, and that if it hasn't settle by thursday, she has to be admitted to the hospital.
Thank God that the fever has settled on the very same day and the little girl seemed more cheerful. The lab result for dengue has also shown negative. She is soon slowly gaining back her appetite and be her active self. Throughout this ordeal of her illness, I felt so inadequate each time I forced milk and medicine down her throat, to settle her cries during her sleep and seeing her looking all lifeless and sad.
Other that that, I just feel tired and drained looking after her, waking up at odd hours at night to manage her cries as well as to feed her medicine and check on her temperature. It is a new sense of vulnerability, feeling so helpless to see her in such discomfort and not getting better, something which I've not experienced before I became a mother. Luckily for me, I have a wonderful mother-in-law who is willing to help me take some of these burden.
All I wish for the little girl is for her to be well and happy and I am just trying my best to provide her with the space to grow, activities to learn and helping her grow up to be a well-adjusted, well-rounded happy kid.
Recently I've read something which pretty much described my feelings these days. Below is what I have summed up.
Be contented for happy moments,
Be brave during difficult moments,
Worship God at quiet moments,
Be thankful for every moment.
Monday, June 22, 2009
The Little Gal's Milestones
Now that my little gal, Bernice is already 13 months old, I thought it is time to write about her developmental milestones before they are all erased from my poor memory.
These days she has turned into an active toddler, and anything but the peaceful bundle she used to be. It seems only yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital wrapped in a baby blanket. The memories of making her sleep in order to feed her milk (becos she rejected milk if she was awake when she turned nearly 3 months old) is still so fresh. Now she will be all over the house, opening cupboards, drawers and cabinets and there has to have an object such as a pen, plastic spoon or some container in her hands. She also likes to climb up and down our king's size bed and to roll all over it which scare the hell out of me. Shaking violently our standing lamb and fan and giggles happily away is another one of her favourite playtime.
So, I better jot down some of these before I am to old to remember:
At 4 months: Had her first taste of solid food(rice cereal)
At 5 months: Sitting on walker
At 6 months: Sitting with support
At 7-8 months : Unsupported sitting
At 9 months: First teeth popped out
At 10-11 months: Supported walking(with minimal crawling)
At 12 months: Tentative walking, sometimes with one hand held
At 13 months: Walking well
Well, at this point of time, these are the tasks that she can perform well:
1) Obligingly wave good-bye and "blank kiss" when going home or others are going home. Do a "hi-five" when asked.
2) Pointing to lights and clock, hands and legs correctly when asked.
3) Able to call "Papa, Mama and Ah Ma, Cat Cat, Dog Dog, Milk Milk, Star Star."
4) Respond to simple questions and command, eg making gesture of "don't want" by means of waving her hand and saying "None"(actually should be "No", I think).
5) Scribble purposefully on paper with a pen/pencil.
6) Likes to push, throw and knock everything down.
7) Walks up and down the slope/staircase with her hand held
8) Recognizing and pointing to herself in the mirror.
9) Feeds herself with fingers, and also showing interest in feeding with spoons and forks.
10) Sit down on a small stool or chair.
11) Can cooperate a little with dressing by keeping still or lifting up her hands or legs with asked.
12) Likes to explore drawers and boxes to see what is inside.
13) Play side along others with or without interacting.
14)Resist bedtime, usually sleeps at 11-11.30pm.
So, that's my little girl. I hope to see her grow up soon, look forward to seeing her don her graduation gown, then i know i have fulfilled my duties as a mother. Yet i think i will miss her as she is now.. the forever active and mischievous girl. Whatever is the case, i still love her ginormously.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Beginning
It has been 13 months now since my little munchkin arrived on 2 May 2008. It was then that I thought I should start a blog about her so that as i age, I can reflect on the little things that has happened.
However it wasn't until now that I managed to overcome my inertia to summon my motivation to just do it.. to create this blog. Perhaps it is because I always believe that I do not have the flair in writing, or maybe I am just plain lazy, or it might be that our daily lives are as most mundane as on earth, so nothing to blog about, or perhaps...but heck, I had started writing now.
Well, for a start, just a pic of me and my little terror, oops.. I mean princess.
However it wasn't until now that I managed to overcome my inertia to summon my motivation to just do it.. to create this blog. Perhaps it is because I always believe that I do not have the flair in writing, or maybe I am just plain lazy, or it might be that our daily lives are as most mundane as on earth, so nothing to blog about, or perhaps...but heck, I had started writing now.
Well, for a start, just a pic of me and my little terror, oops.. I mean princess.
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