There is someone who once told me that this blog of mine is full of gripes which made me look like an unhappy and sulking person. But that someone may not know that i am one who only like to pen down when i am downcast. I have tried to write about happy things but without much success. I tend to take happy moments for granted, rant in this blog when i feel rotten as it is a place where i can pour my heart out without any disdain or comments. However the lapse of a few months for deserting this blog was not because only happy things happened but i was just too fatigue and not in the mood to write about anything.
Sometimes, i feel so suffocated, irritated, lonely and stressed as the main summation of my emotion. And everytime when this happens, i can feel the little one tumbling inside my tummy. I seriously hope the culprit would be the pregnancy blues or perhaps my freaking varicose veins that bulge and hurts like nobody's business.
My heart aches each time after i took it out on XH whenever i feel totally flustered. At 28 months old, XH can be whining and making senseless fuss over nothing. She is often making a din after waking up from her afternoon nap and be rude to me when i had just wanted to pacify her. Her fire-spitting tantrums from time to time can indeed pissed me off. Daddy's method of disciplined would be giving her a good beating till she stops. But i am not totally supportive of this. However when my patience wears off, I still yell at her to stop followed with a light slap on her thigh or hand. The result? She shrilled even louder than me and hit me hard with all her might. The irritated me would threw dirty glare at her and told her crudely,"You better stop now!" By now, XH would cry and opened her tiny arms to signal me to carry her but only to have me shaked her off childishly. But soon, guilt would have swept over me. At times, the thought of one demised mother whose baby barely turned 1 year old when she passed away suddenly would flash on me (She was someone i know whom i am not so close to). This mother must had so much willing to carry her baby and watch her grow up into a child whose face will lit up even with those nonsensical behaviour. Does it really need a sudden death to happen before we start to learn? I know i sounded so morbid.
I understand that kids will need a lot of time and effort from the parents. They have to be guided, corrected and encouraged. It is believed that there are no child born to be terrible, but just results from ineffective parents.
Parenting, is really no easy feat.
This video below from youtube is quite touching which i thought. It reminded me that parents have to do what they have to do, even though the outcome of their doings may not be cherished. That is perhaps the price of parenthood!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Random things in the past weeks
Some witty/funny remarks from XH (in her exact words):
Scenario 1:
We were waiting for the train at the MRT platform.
XH (in sudden earnest thoughts, then pointed to the lift next to her) : Lift spoiled...
Me and papa (turned to her direction and indeed we saw a sign that says " Lift under repair". Our eyes wide in amazement) : Ya, lift spoilt :O
Scenario 2:
XH: Mummy, come! I do massage. You lie down. Then she proceed to push me down onto the bed.
Me: Ah, you do massage for me?
XH: I do massage for you (with her tiny hands patting and stroking my back).
Me: Emm... so nice...
XH: Nice? You sleeping ah?
Me: (pretend to be sleeping) yes...
XH: (paused for a while) i stand...and she stepped on my back and jerked around happily.
Me: Aiyo....no...
XH: She lost her balance and fell onto the bed, and she giggled away almost instantly.
Scenario 3:
Me: How old are you?
XH: (full of zeal) 2 year old, 2 year old!
Me: What is your name?
XH: Nei Pu Pu, haha...
Me: -_-
Scenario 4:
Me: Now, you count after me. Yi, er, san...si, wu, liu...qi, ba jiu... shi (1-10 in chinese)
XH: Yiii, er, san...wu, ba, jiu...shhhhi! Hahaha!* Breaks out in madcap laughter*
Scenario 5:
We were out in the shopping centre. XH came face to face with another girl of about her same age. Both were looking at each other silently.
XH: (Went closer and closer to the girl and finally she broke the silent and spoke softly,) Tan Xin Hui...
Me (in my thoughts): She wanted to introduce herself. So cute. :)
Scenario 6:
Papa: If you still don't want to sleep, the police uncle will come. (Then he pretends to be the police uncle and knocks on the bedroom door). *Knock, Knock*
XH: (Glanced out of the ajar door). No police uncle, that one papa lar!
Papa and Me: :O
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
I presume that all toddlers will develop an affinity for animals at some point of time and will probably have a favourite animal of their own. Well, XH i thought for once fall under the "non-conventional" category since she doesn't seem to like any animals, be it soft toys or others. But recently, she has developed a liking for a soft toy tiger which we bought for only $2 at a pasah malem during chinese new year. Everything that she does, she includes the tiger in. When she eats her cereal or porridge, she feeds the tiger. When she drinks milk and water, she feeds it. Even when she bathes, she wants to bathe the tiger too (of course i stopped her). Inevitably she must sleep with the tiger every night. And she insists on taking a photo with the tiger daily before bedtime. Haha... Here is a picture of her and her favourite tiger of now.
Scenario 1:
We were waiting for the train at the MRT platform.
XH (in sudden earnest thoughts, then pointed to the lift next to her) : Lift spoiled...
Me and papa (turned to her direction and indeed we saw a sign that says " Lift under repair". Our eyes wide in amazement) : Ya, lift spoilt :O
Scenario 2:
XH: Mummy, come! I do massage. You lie down. Then she proceed to push me down onto the bed.
Me: Ah, you do massage for me?
XH: I do massage for you (with her tiny hands patting and stroking my back).
Me: Emm... so nice...
XH: Nice? You sleeping ah?
Me: (pretend to be sleeping) yes...
XH: (paused for a while) i stand...and she stepped on my back and jerked around happily.
Me: Aiyo....no...
XH: She lost her balance and fell onto the bed, and she giggled away almost instantly.
Scenario 3:
Me: How old are you?
XH: (full of zeal) 2 year old, 2 year old!
Me: What is your name?
XH: Nei Pu Pu, haha...
Me: -_-
Scenario 4:
Me: Now, you count after me. Yi, er, san...si, wu, liu...qi, ba jiu... shi (1-10 in chinese)
XH: Yiii, er, san...wu, ba, jiu...shhhhi! Hahaha!* Breaks out in madcap laughter*
Scenario 5:
We were out in the shopping centre. XH came face to face with another girl of about her same age. Both were looking at each other silently.
XH: (Went closer and closer to the girl and finally she broke the silent and spoke softly,) Tan Xin Hui...
Me (in my thoughts): She wanted to introduce herself. So cute. :)
Scenario 6:
Papa: If you still don't want to sleep, the police uncle will come. (Then he pretends to be the police uncle and knocks on the bedroom door). *Knock, Knock*
XH: (Glanced out of the ajar door). No police uncle, that one papa lar!
Papa and Me: :O
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
I presume that all toddlers will develop an affinity for animals at some point of time and will probably have a favourite animal of their own. Well, XH i thought for once fall under the "non-conventional" category since she doesn't seem to like any animals, be it soft toys or others. But recently, she has developed a liking for a soft toy tiger which we bought for only $2 at a pasah malem during chinese new year. Everything that she does, she includes the tiger in. When she eats her cereal or porridge, she feeds the tiger. When she drinks milk and water, she feeds it. Even when she bathes, she wants to bathe the tiger too (of course i stopped her). Inevitably she must sleep with the tiger every night. And she insists on taking a photo with the tiger daily before bedtime. Haha... Here is a picture of her and her favourite tiger of now.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Blessings
I wonder if i am the only parent who constantly face a power struggle between myself and my child. Recently, XH has becomes really whiny. Maybe she knows what is right or wrong, but she is determined to stand her ground and refuses to be bossed around. Of course she has her own free will too. While i know that what i am doing as a parent is good for her, to make her feel secure and happy, it is really energy sucking when she is defiant and throw tantrums.
Examples of the common: Told her not to touch this and she grabs it tight in her hands. Well, the forbidden fruit is priceless. While i try to explain the reason why and offered another item to her, she rejected and started to whine.
Another example is when i bathe her. She will continue to play in the bathroom and let the water run non-stop even when she is done with her shower. And when i try to coax her to stop, she scowls with lips pouted. I had to pull her out and so she started her crying and kicking again. While i know that such struggle would put a crack in the relationship with my child if it is extended over a period of time, i find it hard to always nurture a loving relationship with her though i am aware that it should be the first and foremost. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
However i am still so thankful to God for bringing XH into our lives, despite the challenging conditions i have to face while she was in my womb 2 years ago. I can vividly recollect since the day i became preggy, i have to visit the gynae's clinc every week for 3 months instead of the normal monthly visit to get my constant supply of hormone pills and injections and utrasound scans just to stabilise the foetus. I lived in fear every other day that i might lose her due to spotting and bleeding or other missing symptoms. I was so relieved and delighted on the day i delivered her.
So isn't this contrary that when our kids were still zygotes or foetuses in our bodies, we prayed hard for a healthy baby. When they were born, we fret about how naughty and defiant they are, sigh and be discontent when they are not behaving well or the way we want them to be. Hmm, i think it is time for us to count our blessings instead of woes at times like that.
I love my baby so much. For now i learn to cherish every simple little moment in life with her that are so easily forgotten, before she grows up quickly right before my eyes.
Examples of the common: Told her not to touch this and she grabs it tight in her hands. Well, the forbidden fruit is priceless. While i try to explain the reason why and offered another item to her, she rejected and started to whine.
Another example is when i bathe her. She will continue to play in the bathroom and let the water run non-stop even when she is done with her shower. And when i try to coax her to stop, she scowls with lips pouted. I had to pull her out and so she started her crying and kicking again. While i know that such struggle would put a crack in the relationship with my child if it is extended over a period of time, i find it hard to always nurture a loving relationship with her though i am aware that it should be the first and foremost. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
However i am still so thankful to God for bringing XH into our lives, despite the challenging conditions i have to face while she was in my womb 2 years ago. I can vividly recollect since the day i became preggy, i have to visit the gynae's clinc every week for 3 months instead of the normal monthly visit to get my constant supply of hormone pills and injections and utrasound scans just to stabilise the foetus. I lived in fear every other day that i might lose her due to spotting and bleeding or other missing symptoms. I was so relieved and delighted on the day i delivered her.
So isn't this contrary that when our kids were still zygotes or foetuses in our bodies, we prayed hard for a healthy baby. When they were born, we fret about how naughty and defiant they are, sigh and be discontent when they are not behaving well or the way we want them to be. Hmm, i think it is time for us to count our blessings instead of woes at times like that.
I love my baby so much. For now i learn to cherish every simple little moment in life with her that are so easily forgotten, before she grows up quickly right before my eyes.
Friday, January 29, 2010
The Tot's Act of late
Ever since XH (in short Bernice) fell sick 2 weeks ago, with upper respiratory tract infection, she fusses over every single little thing. She will start wailing for hours with all her might for no particular reason, leaving me drained of all strength. And the worst of all is she doesn't want to let daddy console or carry her, she only wants ME! Imagine coming back from a day's of work, dead from my feet, i have to deal with her hysterical cries, incessable tantrums and whatever nonsense she threw at me. I get screamed at her frequently and "tortures" me for her own amusement. And late at night, i am not able to have restful sleep. She yells out of a sudden when she is already asleep and continues till her tears dried up! I endure the day with only that 3-4 hours of sleep every night. Sometimes i really wish that i can cast her aside, yet i know that i am responsible for her life, her well-being. For now, my love for her is unconditional, nobody has yet made me feel that way. I swear i will give my life for her.
x x x x x x x x
On a happier note, sometimes, when i look at XH, i think she is actually a 20 year-old adult trapped in a tiny 20-months old's body. =_= For example:
When she sees that there are bits and pieces of tissues on the floor, she sweeps the floor till it is spick-and-span, carefully emptying all the contents in the dustpan into the dustbin.
She is too observant for her age, pointing to a tiny mango hanging from a big mango tree outside our house. She notices light flashing from the headlight of a bicycle from a far distance.
She directs me to her lost pillow lying beside a camouflaged toy in the store room.
She improvises new lyrics and tunes to songs to suit new occasion. She sings: Rain, rain, go "gai gai" take umbrella.. when actually it should be Rain, Rain, go away, come again another day. Another one is : London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my friend uncle?!
When she sees that my hair turns messy, quickly she grabs a comb and comb through my hair. After that she says :"nice, nice." :D
Honestly, sometimes i don't know what to say about her (-_-)
x x x x x x x x
On a happier note, sometimes, when i look at XH, i think she is actually a 20 year-old adult trapped in a tiny 20-months old's body. =_= For example:
When she sees that there are bits and pieces of tissues on the floor, she sweeps the floor till it is spick-and-span, carefully emptying all the contents in the dustpan into the dustbin.
She is too observant for her age, pointing to a tiny mango hanging from a big mango tree outside our house. She notices light flashing from the headlight of a bicycle from a far distance.
She directs me to her lost pillow lying beside a camouflaged toy in the store room.
She improvises new lyrics and tunes to songs to suit new occasion. She sings: Rain, rain, go "gai gai" take umbrella.. when actually it should be Rain, Rain, go away, come again another day. Another one is : London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my friend uncle?!
When she sees that my hair turns messy, quickly she grabs a comb and comb through my hair. After that she says :"nice, nice." :D
Honestly, sometimes i don't know what to say about her (-_-)
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