180 Degree Transformation

That day as i rummaged through a pile of old documents in a cabinet at my workplace, i came across an old photograph of myself some 7 or 8 years back. One instant look at the photo, i was able to convince myself how radiant and fresh young-looking i was back then. Ok, i know i sounded thick-skinned but i must re-emphasized that i was indeed pleasant-looking at that time!

I remembered that this picture was taken in a lab in NUS which i was working in. Of course no make-up was worn and the clothes were of no fashion, most casual and crappy type. Yet i still looked quite alright overall. Then immediately i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair is still long, but the texture is really bad now with those flyaways and over-processed, damaged look. My eyes seem to be much more droopy and lifeless with those horribe dark circles and i also notice fine lines around them. My cheeks are no longer as supple and radiant as before and they sunken like those of a shrunken old woman! I looked like a different person from the photo. I wonder if my 3-year-old will recognize me if i ever showed her the photo.

Then i came to terms that once a woman becomes a mum, she immediately carries the responsibility of looking after the little one who is looking up to her for protection, guidance and love. You no longer have the luxury time to doll yourself up, do manicures, meticulously squeeze out that pimple on your face or take long shower baths. You don't bother to suck in your tummy to fit into a tight dress. Everyday you will wear those loose tops just to hide that post-baby sagging tummy and who cares whether they are pretty or not so long as you feel comfortable. You now wear flats as it is easier to run after the toddler and safer to carry the little baby in your hands, minimizing the chance of falling on all fours. And who has time for make-ups when you can barely catch your forty winks?

Well, from time to time, i keep reminding myself that i need to maintain an "OK" look on a day to day basis despite what most people think that mommies do not really need to dress up (although there are still a number of hot mommies around). Till date i have not found a fashion style that really suits my post-natal body, lifestyle and budget yet. So, in the meantime, I think i will continue to look shabby since i am not a narcissist to begin with. It will probably take a long time before i start grooming myself again.

Pic of me 7 or 8 years back



Another pic of me when younger